| |
| |
|
Dating Information |
|
|
|
e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?
I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match" for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single - gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it comes assembled. The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a "computer personality test" of some sort. Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a "top psychologist", have the ability to understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don't worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do. Remember the Broadway play "Fiddler on The Roof"? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was "matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match?" The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect. But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She decides that "playing with matches, a girl can get burned". So, do these tests really work? Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm, and Jung developed respected psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for all types of tests. "The Big Five" theory suggests that there are five dimensions of personality: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Some popular personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go the "Big Three" route, which does away with the "openness" and "agreeableness" dimensions - mostly because it's easier to remember. I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they've survived the test of time and there is a ton of scientific research behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in applying a theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally complex person. That's a tall order. People have impulsive behavior that simply can't be measured when they're sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than we'd expect. Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who's empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and successful - and yet we're not attracted. Often we can't explain why we like another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile - even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted. Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can't solve the riddles of our romantic lives. As Jung put it, "the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed". It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other? Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could predict romance. If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that isn't trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of singles to meet. Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don't expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship. Next time you're brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That's your matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not-so-good, are essential to finding the right person for you. Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life-Coach, radio host, columnist, and the developer of ToolsToLife.com. . His new program OnlineDatingKit.com teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Donald Trump and the Apprentice Rules Applied to Dating I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some of the rules that Donald Trump and his apprentice assistants had come up with about business. While reading a lot of them I saw a huge relation to how these same rules also apply to dating as crazy as it might sound. Flattery Will Get You Everywhere Flattery will get you everywhere! Always compliment women and they will always feel good about you, but don't overdue it or they will think your just trying to score points (which you are, but you don't want them to know that).Try to sound sincere by giving her a unique compliment that most people will overlook. Filtering Values in the Dating Game Ever noticed that when dating, no one really wants to takethe first step and open up a dialogue on a subject with depthand substance?It would seem only natural to try to obtain such vitalinformation in order to make a reasonable assessment as towhether your date could have potential.However, most people, due to either being too uptight, ormerely too busy playing the "let me put on my best facefront", whether it's you or just a fraction of you, do notprobe for the others' values initially. Dating Rules - Show Tolerance, be Easy You should show a tolerant and open-minded attitude towards many subjects. Imagine the following sentences:A: "All bugga-huggawoks always make trouble. Online Dating For Dummies Whether you have been dating for years, getting back in the game, or just starting out, you could always use a bit of dating advice. Not the kind you get from your mother, but rather the kind that actually might get you past the first date, on to the 2nd and perhaps on to a happily ever after. 10 Important, Easy Dating Rules to Ensure Your Success 1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it if it is on Silent either. You should only do this if you are expecting an emergency and I mean an emergency. Breaking Up The first thing you should do is talk about what happened, to your closest friend or family member. Just let it all out. Safe Cyber Dating Cyber dating is one of the most popular dating venues these days. No longer is it necessary to go to the bar down the street to find a date. It Pays For Single Christians To Date Other Like-Minded People Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges.Afterall, forever is a long time. Men: Never Compliment a Woman You Want to Date Hello Lucia,I regularly compliment women and tell them that I am interested in them. Is this the kiss of death? I hear being aloof and stand-offish is more intriguing and works better in trying to get a woman's attention, especially in the beginning. The Final Solution to Dating I run a blog where I discuss the topic of the many games people play in the dating arena. I've posted hundreds of articles, many of which point out many of these troubles. Ten Great Holiday Dates For Singles Dating during the holiday season can be a special treat. Of course, in order to fully experience this you may need to re-order some priorities and make time for yourself and your own personal needs. Dating Tips: The First Impression Matters Ever had a love at first sight encounter? Totally captured by her beauty the first time you laid your eyes on her? Having sleepless nights thinking about her? That first impression she left with you was sure astonishing wasn't it?The first impression you give plays a very important part in the blooming of a love relationship. It determines the ever possibility of a development of the relationship. Getting The Most From A Romantic Relationship Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a couple has for a happy life together. Being concerned withwhat is good about the relationship is what makes the relationship good. Online Dating Tips For Success So the search for the perfect relationship is tuff. You have tried the grocery market, the coffee houses, blind dates, social gatherings and the Barnes & Nobles. Why Online Dating is So Tough For Men Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past several years. Every year millions of men turn to internet dating in an effort to meet more women without risking face-to-face rejection. Online Dating Service! Is Matchmaking On The Internet Right For You? Online dating service! Is it right for you? That would be the question if you're reading this right now and asking yourself, why am I still single, and how do I find someone compatible for me? You may have tried everything from dating in the local community, or you may have also tried one of the local dating services all without success!Now that you may be frustrated and ready to give up, the computer era opened the doors to dating online, and has given you hope once again! This option meets many needs, because several people have roadblocks in their lives, and are searching for an avenue to express their feelings without having to put all their energy on the line in person.What are these roadblocks you ask? As an individual you will have different events in your lives that prevent you from finding and developing good relationships. Conversation Starters Can Save Your First Date Conversation starters can literally save your life on a first date.Why?Well, as you know, going on a first date can be very scary and intimidating. Creating a Great Online Dating Profile First impressions are important, which is why it is essential to create an appealing, but honest profile of yourself. After all, this is the only information that a potential suitor has to go on initially and the decision on whether or not to contact you will be based upon what he or she reads in your profile. 8 Steps to Scoring Big in a Bar If you're single, you've probably gone to a singles bar at some point in your life, hoping to make a love connection. But what determines whether tonight will be your lucky night? Chance? Kismet? Maybe.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
